Parental Alienation is Child Abuse
PARENTAL ALIENATION; DOES IT EXIST? (yes) CAN IT BE REPAIRED? (yes)
Parental alienation takes place in many ways. Some may do it unknowingly or unintentionally, while others are much more calculated. This phenomenon originates with the parent who’s less emotionally stable than the other. They’re often motivated by the desire for revenge against their ex or they may need an outlet so desperately that they transfer their pain and rage onto the child. The victimized parent often can’t fathom acting in the same way, which unfortunately makes it more difficult to sustain a loving relationship with the child.
This has become a common issue during divorce – and often after divorce – PAS involves one parent speaking poorly of the other. Many times, the parent who is engaged in this unfortunate behavior acts as though they don’t realize what they’re doing, deep down they do. Its evident to everyone but them.
Sometimes parents going through mental anguish lose perspective. They begin to involve their children, making negative statements about the other parent such as “if your father loved you he would spend time with you,” “I can’t believe your father wants to spend time doing drugs or wasting their life,” etc.
Fathers in Texas Get the Help You Need
Dealing with an ex-spouse who has Malicious Mother Syndrome can be exhausting. You may find yourself buried under unnecessary court dates and have to spend a shocking amount of money on legal fees. If you believe that you are being treated unfairly by your ex-spouse, get the help you need to stop the vicious cycle. Call or text for help.
Fathers 4 Equal Rights – Fathers for Equal Rights can be contacted by phone or text at 512-580-8400
There are two major problems with parental alienation. First, it’s a terrible experience for the involved child or children. It is absolutely instrumental for a child to have a loving and nurturing relationships with both of their parents, no matter what type of relationship the parents end up having with one another. Study after study shows that a negative perception of a parent by a child has a deep and long-standing effect on that child. (negative) And yet PAS parents persist in involving the child in adult issues they have with the other parent.
A second issue about PAS is that it is not to be allowed or permitted within the civil system, and is moral grounds for a change of custody arrangements, including who will be the primary residential parent with the parties’ children.
In making custody decisions, courts should place primary emphasis and focus on what the child’s best interest are. It is never in the child’s best interest for that child to have a negative image of one of their parents thrust upon them, particularly not by the other parent. Doing so forces the child into the middle of a dispute which he or she is not emotionally able to comprehend, which is also frightening and psychologically destructive to the child’s own self-worth and identity both overtly and subconsciously in ways the child can’t understand while undergoing such abuse.
Courts should always consider a parent’s conduct. PAS is an unhealthy environment. Its child abuse!
Yes, we did use the word child abuse. Many courts consider it abusive to alienate a child against another parent by making negative comments about that parent. That’s right, saying something overtly or even implicitly negative about the other parent to the child is 100% hurtful and improper behavior in the eyes of the court. (and the eyes of God)
Going through a divorce or dealing with post-divorce issues can be difficult and emotionally exhausting. There can be a temptation to “prove” your side of things to your child. But doing so is never a good idea. The only thing the parent who does this will be proving is they are a bad parent to the court. It is a child’s job to love both of their parents. It is the parent’s job to help their child do the best in life.
Parents can fight alienation in court, but they need to provide a rigorous level of proof. A court may then mandate a reunification program, in which the child spends time with the alienated parent to help rebuild the relationship. Psychological treatment may also be needed to address the child’s trauma from suffering through PAS. Some relationships fractured by parental alienation will heal with time, but many are never repaired.
How to Navigate Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is deeply painful, but ostracized parents should know that they are not alone. Although it can be frustrating, they should aim to express only compassion and kindness for the estranged child, remaining calm rather than responding to the injustice with anger or rage.
For the record, concrete evidence the other parent is intentionally driving a wedge between a child and parent can bolster a case in court. Other solutions will emerge in time through civil system changes to the US legal system, such as officially designating alienation as a form of child abuse and establishing equal and shared parenting rights as a foundation for all family law, and promoting treatments through reunification services, PAS prevention programs, and trauma care to help those who’ve already suffered through parental alienation.
Change is here!
Sometimes, people stressed by divorce go too far. They become malicious or eager to punish the other party. For mothers who act in this manner, there is a term used called Malicious Mother Syndrome. This syndrome describes a medical condition in which one parent intentionally becomes vengeful toward the other during a divorce.
What is a good example of Malicious Mother Syndrome?
One example would be parental alienation. For example, if a mother and father get a divorce and the mother is angered by the actions of the man, she may start to tell her children that their father is dangerous or that he does not love them. She could act as though it was their actions that caused divorce and that their father hates them for it. This is alienation that attempts to punish the father.
Another example would be if the mother consistently lies to her children or denies the other parent access to visitation or communication with the children. She may also attempt to cut the father out of the children’s lives by not telling him about extra-curricular activities or school activities that he should be invited to attend.
If the mother does not suffer any kind of mental disorder that would explain these actions, then the best explanation is Malicious Mother Syndrome. This is not a medical classification, but instead, it identifies a parent who acts in a negative way that needs to be recognized by the court.
Can fathers suffer from this condition?
Yes. In fact, even though the name suggests it’s only females who struggle, fathers also do. For that reason, some courts recognize it as malicious parent syndrome, which is gender neutral.
If you are getting a divorce and feel that this syndrome may be playing a role in the other parent’s actions, it’s important to speak out. Your attorney can help you protect your rights and access to your children.